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Creative Depression

Lately I have found myself in a bit of a funk. I hesitate to use the word depression, because it is a big, heavy, loaded word. But if I am honest that is more than likely the correct word. This isn’t a new place for me, I have been here before. This is the first time I have been here while actively writing.

Writing has filled a hole in me. It is a passion, a need, a love. It is part of my soul. When writing my world makes sense. A good writing session can make a bad day turn great and lift me up inside.

So it’s especially odd to be in a funk right now. I have finished a good round of editing on Choice and Consequence, which should have me singing. Instead I feel drowned.

The only answer I have for my current emotional struggle is the juggle. The juggle of having my attention pulled toward several different projects at once. As I write and edit I am also marketing and querying. I have several beta reads in the works for other writers and try to keep in touch with the world at large. The funk seems to be my minds way of telling me it’s too much.

So I stepped back. Revised plans. Buried myself in a fun read. Spent time with the family.

And the funk lingers. I know it’s related to my passion, my writing. I force myself through, not letting it get the best of me. And in small moments the funk goes away while working.

But it comes back. It hovers. Is it self-doubt? Is it the overwhelming juggle? Is it clinical? All hard to answer.

I will keep moving forward, keep my passion growing. Keep searching for the spark that rids the cloud. Answers may come, or they may not. Life doesn’t have the same tidy endings that my novels do.

If I get quiet here, you’ll know why.

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3 thoughts on “Creative Depression

  1. I am also going through a creative funk (and am also hesitating to label it “depression”) due to the similar problem of trying to juggle life and all the things/projects that I am meant to enjoy, but not at the moment finding true. My funk is so bad that I have nothing to publish tomorrow here on WordPress. First Tuesday this won’t be happening for me since last June. I hope you find a way out of yours — then share with the rest of us! Maybe it is comforting to you to learn that all you’ve said here is comforting to me? It is. I thought I was alone this week.

  2. Thank you Julia! And big cyber hugs to you. It is comforting to know that I am not alone. I hesitated on clicking publish on this post. But this is all I had to say this week, and I struggled to come up with something to post last week. But since doing so the small outstretches of support have been an incredible feeling. Just knowing one isn’t alone is such a powerful, powerful tool.

    I hope you find a way out of your funk soon. And if I find a way out of mine I will certainly share. Until then, I’m thinking ice cream and some reading is called for, unless I can get my tired brain to attempt another stab at editing.

  3. Pingback: The Healing Power of Poetry | Laura Brown

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