My fear of sharing my writing has been unleashed, yet again. I suspect that as a writer there will always be an element of fear. Therefore I will take each surge as a learning opportunity.
My current fear stems from the daunting task of marketing Lila’s Choice and generating reviews. I saw a place to share an excerpt with other writers. I thought this would great and fun. And then I froze at my keyboard. Granted, I live in New England where the outside world is struggling to get above twenty degrees, but it has been pretty artic on the inside as well (or so my cold hand and toes tell me!).
I took a step back to ponder why I froze, and the answer was glaring at me: I don’t want to do any more revisions. Now, this is not to say that I won’t do revisions. This is to say that I am done doing any major revisions. I’m petrified the novel sucks and anyone who looks at it will want it completely redone.
I’m petrified it just isn’t good enough.
I’ve put twelve years of work into this novel. Money, blood, sweat, and tears. The finish line is waiting for me to cross it. But at this point I want to click “publish” close my eyes, hold my breath, and hide in a cave for a few weeks.
Granted, what I will really be doing is clicking “publish”, closing my eyes, holding my breath, and then sharing it on social media. Then I will try and crawl into a cave but I will really be checking back on said social media sites like an addicted junkie. And speaking of junk I will more than likely be devouring some unhealthy food.
I think it is so much easier to share a work in progress. Because even when you think it’s there, you are still working on it, and welcome the feedback to make it stronger. Sharing something that is finished… the revisions are done. It’s time to step away, cross fingers, and pray that someone, somewhere, likes the end result.