The closer to I get to publication the stronger the urge to run in any other direction becomes. I wonder if my novel is good enough. I second guess any changes to my manuscript after my editor has finished. I hem and haw. I bug my poor husband, for the millionth time, about trivial little details.
But then I take a step back and read some of the words on the page. This no longer looks like some crap I attempted to throw into a storyline. This looks like any other book I would find at the store. Professional.
Let’s take a moment to exclaim: Holy crap I wrote something that looks somewhat professional!
More than that, I’m doing this. I’m publishing. I’m not getting in my own way. And the end result is looking pretty snazzy. I am an author and for the first time I’m truly feeling it. Not as “aspiring” but “succeeding.”
In small ways I’m starting to feel like I know what I’m doing.
I’m gaining confidence. Of course it’s immediately contradicting by an urge to hide under a rock somewhere. We all need to take our own baby steps.